Some minor changes

So my boyfriend has abandoned me in Cape Town and gone off on a terrific skiing holiday with the boys, meaning I'm wallowing in self-pity back at work while he dominates the slopes, inhales Austrian beer, and probably hasn't thought twice about his poor little girlfriend pottering around the office in post-holiday depression. So after 3 days of being utterly miserable, checking my phone every 2 minutes and constantly ringing his mother (to see if she's had a text from him more recently than me), as of today I have resorted to the following:

• I will leave my phone in my bag and not prop it up in front of me on my desk waiting for a call or text. This is really very sad.
• I will except every invite that comes my way – be it dinner with the girls, a run in this sweltering 40-degree heat, or even a game of naked putt putt with some dashing, vacationing Latinos (you never know).
• I will accept that men are useless at contacting and that he still loves me.
• I will replace water with wine.

After another night of no sleep in the sweat pitt I realised I'm quite glad he's not here... One person in my bed is bad enough in this heat. Two would be offensive.