Start spreading the news...

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been busy... packing... coz am off to this place tomorrow ------>

...yup, that's right. And won't be back for two whole entire weeks! That's like a year in dog years!

I might just NEVER come back.

Jealous much?

Unfortunately packing is proving a little more challenging than expected since the weather in New York has decided to go from 30 degrees one week, to 20, and now dropping to a whopping 5 degrees and rainy. This has resulted in my spreading out the contents of my entire wardrobe across my 4m by 4m studio apartment and flipping a coin to help me to decide whether I pack for winter or for summer. (Also, I lost said coin in sea of clothing.) This morning, after wading through jeans, tops, coats, boots, jerseys, scarves, gilets, jackets, skirts, dresses, shorts, socks, bras... to front door, left for work with mismatched pumps and a pair of lace knickers attached to my jeans. Thank goodness Hot Trainer didn't spot me on my way to the car...

So, the Big Apple...

Picture a VERY Jolly Olive sporting gold stilettos and a mink coat, knocking back cosmos and getting my flirt on with dashing celebs in high-end clubs. Although, I'm far more likely to be found inhaling pizza slices, sporting a Knicks vest and rocking out at the Broadway Dance Center.

But I am seeing this: SLEEP NO MORE
And I got me one of these: NYC CITY PASS

So I'm ready to roll.

I'll catch y'all on the rebound.

Underwear Mare

So the other day, the most shameful thing happened. Possibly even more embarrassing than my naked stint with the neighbours during the heatwave (see The Naked Truth).

As I was leaving work, I decided to do a sneaky change in the car for gym – I don't own a lock and it saves time. In the car park at work I whipped off my jeans only to find that I had forgotten to pack my gym pants. Bugger. I'd have to pop home to pick those up. Started to drive home in my knickers when realised I'd have to put my jeans back on to run up to my flat so pulled them on at the next traffic light and continued to drive home, singing my heart out to Jason Mraz's 'I Won't Give Up'.

Arrived home and hopped out car, and bumped straight into one of my neighbours – 'Hot Trainer' I call him (not to his face), since he runs training sessions in our 'garden', and is often out there in a wife beater pumping dumbbells, his biceps glistening beneath the evening sun.

As he came over to say hi, I suddenly became aware of the fact that when I pulled on my jeans in the car, I hadn't done them up!!!

SHIIIIIT

It's not like I could just suddenly do them up mid convo. So, I stood there... Literally... through a 5-minute chat.. the front of my jeans wide open, fucshia and flourescent green 'flamingo' underwear staring him straight in the face. Tried to strategically hold my hangbag over the area, but it was simply too late. I caught him glimpsing at my crotch, his eyebrow raise, before his eyes quickly darted back to mine and a half smirk appeared on his face...

There was nothing I could do.

He knew it.

I knew it.

We knew it together.


Massive pink elephant.

Or pink flamingos in my case...

Safe to say half the neighbourhood has either seen me naked or in my knickers. Great. 

*Happy Easter*

I bid you farewell – I'm off to Johannesburg for a family fun-filled Easter. Mother always gets a little over egg-cited and buys chocolates for Africa... (Luckily she only likes Lindt!) This year I asked if I could substitute some of my eggs for a MAC bronzer. She was not enthused and told me I was killing the spirit of Easter. I told her without bronzer I look like a bloody spirit.

She caved.

HAPPY EASTER