Cat-astrophe

Things I've learnt already after having a kitten for just 4 days...

• Do not expect to sleep. He will. On your face. (Or as close as he can get to it, while clawing your hair.) And he'll purr start up his chainsaw in your ear.

• Expect holes in everything. From your pants (after he claws his way up your leg while you brush your teeth), to your duvet, your couch, the carpet, the curtains… and your skin!

• At night: keep all body parts under the duvet at all times, or they will be ripped to pieces. Also – DON'T MOVE. At all. All you will be pounced on in your sleep.

• Do not try throw him off the bed when you are getting frustrated or want to sleep. No, no. He thinks it's a game, and will spring back and claw on to your arm and bite the sh*t out of it. 

• Do not hang clothes on the washing line. He will jump up and hang off it until he has taken off every last sock and pair of knickers.

• Do not leave home. EVER. Or he cries until you get back and you get complaints from the neighbours. 

• Wear protective gloves. A baseball mitt perhaps. Or your hands will be mauled.

But there are, of course, one or two good things...

• Get him a feather mouse to play with and he'll be occupied for hours...

• When he does eventually sleep, and isn't bulleting up and down the room like a mental case chasing imaginary nothings, he is a maybe a little bit cute...

 So, I think I'll keep it. 

And those big green eyes too. 

Now all I need is some sleep... 

Anyone want to catsit for a night?

Puff the magic pastry!

I literally have developed a new obsession with cooking. It all started with that Christmas cooking course. Then the Indian one. Am about to whip out my beret and embark on a French one. And who knows what will come next! Unfortunately since my kitchen was made for ants, I have to cook at friend's houses. But I've noticed friends don't often say no to my requests to come and cook them dinner in their kitchen.

Anyway my top ingredient at the moment is puff pastry. It's just so bloody versatile. And delicious. And crispy. And buttery.

So, considering a.) my infatuation with puff-pastry recipes and b.) my current cooking fad, you can imagine my sheer delight and potentially dangerous overexcitement when work asked us to make this ----->

It was from a cookbook that was sent to the office and they decided each person should make a recipe. Naturally I teamed up with Vivi&Lola and we got straight to the task that Saturday, after popping open a bottle of Beyerskloof Brut Rose. We like to use bubbly when we cook. Occasionally, like today, we add food. Here was the result...

Not half bad right? Pretty spot on even though I say so myself!

Once the photoshoot was over I totally kitted mine out "Jolly Olly style", smothering it with layers of avo and sweet chilli, turned it into the ultimate finger-licking-good to-die-for mess on a plate:

Oh. So.
DELICIOUS!

Anyhooo, in other puff pastry news...

My second masterpiece for the week:

Yes, I like some pastry with my garlic butter.

Break it open and what do you get??

True happiness! Roasted butternut, bacon, feta and mushrooms.

Heaven heaven heaven.

Now, anyone looking to buy a bathroom scale? I'm trying to get rid of mine!

Going in for the shrill

I can say with complete confidence that this is probably the most I've ever laughed in my entire life. Decided to watch some of the 'female' Olympic SHOT PUT... I say female because those chicks are about as feminine as a jock strap. Anyway, peacefully watching away when I heard the most alarming, frightening sound and realised it was coming from the mouths of these competitors. 

The first one sounded like something out of Jurassic Park...

The second sounds like someone letting go of a balloon!!!... Or perhaps a cat being thrown off a cliff?

Needless to say I was literally in fits of laughter for the next hour. I had to keep rewinding to watch it over and over until tears were streaming down my face. Anyway, hope you enjoy the sound effects as much as I did!!

TURN THE VOLUME UP LOUD!

Into the blue...

"In one drop of water are found all the secrets of the oceans."  

Kahlil Gibran

 Yes... water of this dazzlingly pure flourescent hue of cerulean REALLY exists. It's called the Med. And it surrounds a tiny weeny island called Malta – the home of Maltese poodles, Maltesers, single Malt whiskey, Molten Brown, Teasers... Ok I'm just kidding. But it was my home for a full two weeks. And I've fallen in love. With the water. With the locals. With its rich history. Its untouched beauty. 

And with my tan.

"For whatever we lose (like a you or a me),
It's always our self we find in the sea."
e.e. cummings