This is what I feel like doing right now. Unfortunately if I did, I'd no longer work for a glossy women's fashion mag. Not that I look the part today – combination of far too much rugby, sun, Hunters and sheer weekend frivolity has left me dishevelled, lethargic and leather skinned. Can I go home now, please?
Speaking of glossy women... I realised this weekend I'm becoming too boyish, and am going to make a new, exerted effort to be more ladylike, prim and proper. Saturday night, after watching rugby at Newlands, the boys and I (and one boy's new girlfriend whom I had just met) decided to get some dinner at Kelvin.
New girlfriend is pretty, in white dress, heels, blonde, big tits. Me - baggy T-shirt, sunburt, flipflops, chipped nail polish. New girlfriend orders sophisticated glass of wine and sips on it daintily throughout meal. I order manly Hunters Dry, drink it out the bottle and am on my second one before she has even added her ice cube.
New girlfriend orders small portion of chicken and eats an eighth. I order man-sized rack of ribs and finish them, using my hands, and managing to get basting smeared down my shirt.
New girlfriend giggles femininely at jokes. I cackle and joke raucously with the boys, getting questionable looks from other customers.
New girlfriend speaks intelligently about her job in on-line credit card purchases. I lose track of this conversation one line in and focus on licking my plate clean.
But WOW those ribs were good. As was the rugby, cider and a good laugh.
I've changed my mind. I kinda like who I am.
Looking forward to next weekend as am off to Breede River for a little skiing, tanning and all those awesome things you do in the middle of nowhere with great friends.
But until then, nose to the grind.
Your mouth's watering now, isn't it?
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