Happy feet

I had a lot of free time over the weekend, which was spent applying Caribbean Tan (with remarkable expertise I might add, bar my unmistakeable 'carrot fingers') and painting my toenails a blinding shade of pink to match the pretty summer weather. Monday morning – arrived at office in brand new Luella sandals, my feet of vision of bronze and pink. Hard work paid off when feet were offered a well-paid modelling job on Good Housekeeping mag, so will now be spending this evening getting free pedicure and prepping feet for shoot. Always wanted to model... Let's just call this my 'foot in the door'. Or at least a 'step up'... Am really going to put my best foot forward tomorrow.

Unattractive Geyser Man arrives this morning, 20 minutes late, making me irritable and late for work.
Ugly Geyser Man: 'What seems to be the problem?'
Olive: 'Apparently my geyser is leaking somewhere. I think it's a load of bollocks really. I haven't noticed any water anywhere.'
UGM: 'Let's take a look see.'

He climbs up ladder into enormous hole in my ceiling, which I never before noticed. I hear a scream.

Olive: 'WHAT IS IT?! RAT? A DEAD BODY?! WHAT?'
UGM: 'Christ!!! Your geyser has burst. It's flooding up here! How did you not notice?'
Olive: 'Unfortunately I don't spend much time in the ceiling.'
UGM: 'We need to fix this immediately.'
Olive: 'I need to go to work.'
UGM: 'You need to replace these pipes or you're going to be swimming to bed tonight.'
Olive: 'At least that's one of the forms of exercises I'm allowed to do with my bad knees!'


UGM didn't find my jokes very funny and eventually convinced me that this HAD to be dealt with today and that I'd have to come back in my lunch break or my building would be under water by the end of the day.

UGM: 'Put that in your pipe and smoke it!' (The pun being on 'pipe')
Olive: 'Touche.'

We parted on good terms after I realised he had a sense of humour.

Knees are in a lot of pain after God-awful injections yesterday. Lovely friend (who lived in Bangkok for a year) came for support and proceeded to squeeze my hand and educate me on the different versions of Thai salads as they drew blood then re-injected it into my patella tendon. There was so much going on I don't think anyone took any interest whatsoever as to how much pain I was in...

Olive: 'IT HURTS!'
Friend: 'And then there's the salad with paw-paw...'
Surgeon: 'Just a little to the left...'
Olive: 'YOU SADIST!'
Friend: 'Or you can use sesame seed oil...'
Surgeon: 'Right there! In it goes.'
Olive: 'OOOWWWWWW!!!!'
Friend: 'Or you can sprinkle peanuts on top.'
Physio: 'I've had that before...'
Friend: 'It's great isn't it?'
Olive: 'OH MY GOD!'
Physio: 'And with paw-paw!'
Friend: 'Yes, paw-paw.'
Olive: Well I'm f***ing SORE-SORE... Can we quit talking about Thai food and focus on me! I'm in pain, I'm dying... ... I'm...'
Surgeon: 'All done.'
Olive: 'Oh.'
Surgeon winks at me: 'Not so bad, was it?'
Olive (in her head): How would you like me to stick a bloody great needle into your knobbly knees and move it around until I found the most painful spot, you old fart!!!
Surgeon: 'So, who's up for some Thai food?'

We did end up going for Thai last night (er, not with my surgeon). A lovely big bowl of Phad Thai later the colour finally came back into my face. Still in a lot of pain today so feeling tres sorry for myself. Special Vivi & Lola even went and got me a freezo to cheer me up...

Have a great weekend all! I'm pretty sure you know what mine will entail by now. If my knees will permit it...