Do Not Disturb

Why do people come and say hello at gym?

LEAVE ME ALONE!

I'm not there for a social gathering. I'm there to make myself thin and hot for an actual social gathering. Where I will actually WANT to talk to you.

I have no make-up on, am sweating like a rapist, hair scraped back like a frigid ballet teacher, pushing myself to a potentially aggressive level, in the zone, pumping Avicii 'Levels', counting the calories as they burn off my body...

When I get a tap on my shoulder.

Annoying Person I Know: "Jolly Olive! Hi!"

Ignore.

Again:

APIK: "Yo Jolly Olive!"

Apparently very obviously irritated face means nothing, followed by slowly removing earphones, pausing hectic treadmill workout... stop, turn around.

Olive: "Yes?"
APIK: "Waz going down?!"
Olive: "My endorphins."
APIK: "You shvetting a little over there?"
Olive: "Who'd have thought."
APIK: "Not looking your best!"
Olive: "Did I not put on enough make-up?"
APIK: "So the knees must be better – you're running again?"
Olive: "I was..."
APIK: "We should do a run sometime."
Olive: "How about not."
APIK: "So is that your gym outfit?"
Olive: "No, my new dress was at the dry cleaners."

APIK then decides to get into a detailed explanation of his latest career prospects, oblivious to my annoyance. I start up the treadmill at a slow pace to make a point.

APIK: "That's pretty slow."
Olive: "So is this conversation."
APIK: "Do you run for long?"
Olive: "About as long as you've been talking!"
APIK: "Oh, er, should I leave you to it?"
Olive: "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

APIK is now APIDK (Annoying Person I Don't Know)... Coz he certainly no longer wants to know me.