AA

Sitting at my desk, very busy and important...

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Me: Hello mother.
Mother: Darling! Are you busy?
Me: Believe it or not these are my working hours...
Mother: Well I've just booked our flights for December. Now get a pen, Darling, and write this down...
Me: Can we chat later? I'm going into a meeting.
Mother: We land on the 16th at 12.00 so maybe you could fetch us from the airport and we can go straight to lunch, or you can take us home to drop our bags and then we go for lunch? Or we can get a taxi and you fetch us from home and then we go to lunch...
Me: I really can't talk about this now... I have a meeting.
Mother: Then on the Saturday I thought you could fetch us at 12 and take us all to your sister's wedding and...
Me: I'm sorry, what???
Mother: You can drive us to the wedding...
Me: There's been some mistake.
Mother: But then we don't have to pay for a taxi. It's a free ride!
Me: There's also free Champagne!... And I intend to take full advantage of that.
Mother: Are you an alcoholic?
Me: If you keep asking me that I soon will be.
Mother: Maybe you should go to an AA meeting.
Me: Maybe you should let me go to my work meeting!

Silence.

Mother: Oh bugger.
Me: What's wrong?

Frantic rustling in the background.

Me: Mum? Are you ok?
Mother: Oh God. It must've been stolen...
Me: What?
Mother: Oh no. Oh dear.
Me: Mum?!?!
Mother: I just had it?... Christ!

Mother becomes more frantic. She even drops, God forbid, a small swear word.

Mother: How could I be so stupid?
Me: WHAT'S HAPPENED!?!

Mother: I've lost my cell phone!

 Me: Mum... You're on it.


Mother: Oh.
Me: Looks like someone else needs to go to AA. Alzheimer's Anonymous!

Ps: I did it again. I went to gym this morning. See what happens when that happens...