After a full day in bed post-hen party (at the infamous Beefcakes) I woke up Monday morning to see 'You have been tagged in 17 photos on Facebook' ...
SH*********T
Raced to work to find a number of disorderly images of an unrestrained Olive frolicking amongst topless men and drag queens, flourescent pink feather bower between my legs, a glass of Champagne in one hand, and a significantly large cucumber in the other...!?! Hastily detagged the erroneous evidence of inebriated lunacy, praying no one had yet seen said affirmation.
Mother had rung at 8am Sunday morning. In my unfathomably hungover state, and running on all of 3 hours sleep, I struggled to get out more than one word at a time let alone a coherent sentence.
Mother: MORNING DARLING!!
Olive: Ssshhhh.
Mother: What?
Olive: Head.
Mother: You were drunk last night.
Olive: What would make you say such a thing?!??!!
Mother: I got a text from you at 3.27am saying you'd ordered two golden retrievers off eBay.
Olive: Er.
Mother: And you sent your Father a photo of an enormous cucumber.
Olive: Um.
Mother: And then you asked your Father if he could pay you back for the golden retrievers!
Olive: Please... you're making my LC worse than it already is.
Mother: Go back to bed. And for God's cancel those dogs!
Cringe.
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