This is [not] me, on the yacht in Turkey... here's why:
Everyone kept telling me how cold it was in Cape Town this weekend. But I haven't been able to feel the cold, even though the temperatures here have been lower than those in Jo'burg. I am attributing this to the colossal mass of Lindt I consumed on Easter Sunday. My family actually couldn't believe their eyes as they watched their sophisticated young offspring transform into some sort of barbaric Easter mutant, chocolate smeared down my face as I inhaled one egg after another. I now have an unwanted layer of additional Winter padding. Unfortunately, as you know, I somehow need to squeeze my pallid, pasty (and now pudgy) self into a hot skimpy bikini next weekend as I board the luxury Turkish yacht. How am I to impress Lovely Boyfriend (and potentially attractive boat crew) now? Hoping the calorie-conquering task of moving house on Sunday will do the trick. Although this may quickly be cancelled out by the Cheese and Wine Festival in Franschhoek on Sunday afternoon...
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