Cat-astrophe

Things I've learnt already after having a kitten for just 4 days...

• Do not expect to sleep. He will. On your face. (Or as close as he can get to it, while clawing your hair.) And he'll purr start up his chainsaw in your ear.

• Expect holes in everything. From your pants (after he claws his way up your leg while you brush your teeth), to your duvet, your couch, the carpet, the curtains… and your skin!

• At night: keep all body parts under the duvet at all times, or they will be ripped to pieces. Also – DON'T MOVE. At all. All you will be pounced on in your sleep.

• Do not try throw him off the bed when you are getting frustrated or want to sleep. No, no. He thinks it's a game, and will spring back and claw on to your arm and bite the sh*t out of it. 

• Do not hang clothes on the washing line. He will jump up and hang off it until he has taken off every last sock and pair of knickers.

• Do not leave home. EVER. Or he cries until you get back and you get complaints from the neighbours. 

• Wear protective gloves. A baseball mitt perhaps. Or your hands will be mauled.

But there are, of course, one or two good things...

• Get him a feather mouse to play with and he'll be occupied for hours...

• When he does eventually sleep, and isn't bulleting up and down the room like a mental case chasing imaginary nothings, he is a maybe a little bit cute...

 So, I think I'll keep it. 

And those big green eyes too. 

Now all I need is some sleep... 

Anyone want to catsit for a night?